Recently, I’ve journeyed stumbled into the world of blogging! Within this world, I’ve been introduced to what is known as a blog party! A blog party (or link-up) is basically an online place where lots of bloggers come together to link up their latest or featured posts. It’s a way to get your voice out there and also read what others are saying.
Most of the bloggers at these blog parties just happen to be women, and many write from the perspective of mother, wife, and/or homemaker. Now, I definitely need wisdom and advice in ALL of these areas, but at times, I’ve gotten the impression after reading some of their posts that within some areas of Christendom, women are expected to not only excel but also to love everything that comes with these said areas (wife, mother, homemaker).
The women who write many of these blogs are amazing! Not only do they have clean homes and clean kids (a reality that I have yet to realize), but they make time to blog about it! I admire them and can learn much from them…but I don’t have to be wired exactly like them.
There is a chapter in the Bible that we are often referred back to as Christian women which has been interpreted in a way that can leave some of us looking…um…less than desirable! The infamous 31st chapter of Proverbs! It is often held over our heads like a standard that we are meant to live up to or a carrot that we are to chase after.
But what if you don’t like homemaking? I don’t really love it. I like parts of it- like when I get to make chocolate chip cookies from pre-bought dough or when I get to buy a new rug at Target (*slight exaggeration!) But if you look around my house, you’ll find that I definitely do not excel at it many parts of it. There are often piles of laundry- some clean and some dirty. I only really dust when it’s accumulated to the point that it triggers my allergies. And today for lunch, I ate one my kid’s hard boiled Easter eggs with some sour cream and onion chips. Let’s just be real.
So am I discredited from being a woman of valor? I think not.
It seems that we have chosen the parts of Proverbs 31 (which by the way is not a holy grail for women to aspire to but an ode that King Lemuel wrote for his mother) that we like or deem acceptable within our church culture. Or maybe just the parts that have been approved by generations before us (and that would only be a few generations because ages ago, the expectations for women were also very different.)
We use this chapter in Proverbs like a set of rules to which we are confined. But why do we only labor on the verses that talk about this mighty woman sewing and feeding her children? Why don’t we expect women to be real estate brokers or receive commission from sales? If this is really the standard, let’s not pick and choose what we are meant to live up to. I mean, I could use a maid or two to care for!
The reality is that we are all different as women. Some women love spending their days reading Dr Seuss, tidying up the home, and creating the perfect casserole (like my mother). Others do not (like me). And both are okay!! I do have my moments, when the planets align and my children sit by my side smiling as I eloquently read a tale from Beatrix Potter. Those times are beautiful and life-giving. But most of the time my 4-year-old complains because his sister is sitting closer to me than he is, my 2-year-old insists on trying to turn the page before I have finished it, and together, they ask about 58 questions per paragraph so that by the time we are through, we don’t even know what story we are reading anyway.
If I were rich enough, I would hire multiple maids and a professional chef and never cook again unless it was because I just felt like it. Or I would order out every night- but only from healthy and tasty restaurants!
This does not make me a bad mother or wife or homemaker. I do believe that my role as a woman with a family is to care for them. But the way Pinterest expects me to care for my family and the way Jesus expects me to care for my family are totally different. There might be some overlap, but mostly, totally different.
Jesus is looking at my heart. If we read about Mary and Martha, we’ll see that Jesus is more concerned about our heart’s response to Him than how well our roast turns out.
And my husband would often rather have me just hang out and actually listen to him than put away the toys (or check Facebook. Guilty!)
So let’s bless and learn from those women to whom homemaking comes naturally. And let’s also bless and learn from those women who can code and manage hospitals and drive semi-trucks. God likes variety. Every bird has a different song and a different look. Some are flashy and bold. Some are camouflaged and shy. All are lovely. He is a multi-faceted God who shows Himself in a billion different ways. And He is our standard, not the woman next door (or next pew over!)
Instead of limiting ourselves to King Lemuel’s mother only, let’s look to the broad spectrum of inspiring women in the Bible: Esther, Rebecca, Deborah, Tamar, Ruth, Rahab, Mary, Martha, Priscilla to name a few. Surely they had different strengths and gifts and capacities.
Let’s be free to be who God made us to be and take our guidance from Him first (before our cultures or the traditions of men). It’s not that we don’t humbly receive input from others but that we run all advice and all standards through the filter of God’s Word and His nature.
For further reading, check out Should Women Lead?
