Love & War is one of our favorite marriage books. It might be the favorite, or at least among the top 3. We read quite a few before (and during) the first stages of our marriage. Some I would never recommend because I feel they are too fear-based: things-you-need-to-do-or-you’ll-lose-your-spouse type of advice. That’s not really my style, nor does it foster a covenant-based relationship.
This book, Love & War by the Eldredges is easy to read, real and yet inspiring. I could list heaps of takeaways but here are 3:
1. Have dreams for your marriage.
John and Stasi Eldredge have an incredible capacity to inspire us to want more. All of their books have done this for me (except maybe the one written for men!)
It is so easy to grow complacent in the marriage relationship. Even if you’re not in a full-on challenging season, it’s still so easy to get stuck in a rut. It’s so easy to stop wanting more. This book calls you back to what you first desired in a marriage. It dares you to hope for that again. It offers this lofty thought that a beautiful, even more fulfilling marriage is possible.
We all have areas in our marriage in which we can grow. And this book does address that, but more importantly, it addresses the heart behind our desire to grow. Ultimately, marriage is supposed to point us (and those that see it lived out) back to Jesus and His bride. And He never stops pursuing us or wanting to grow in relationship with us.
Reading Love & War stirred my soul to long for an even stronger, more adventurous, more intimate relationship with my husband.
2. Your marriage has an enemy.
The Eldredges do a great job of pointing out the truth that the devil does not want your marriage to succeed.
I often forget in the heat of an argument (usually about something so ridiculous I know I won’t even remember it a week from now) that there is a much bigger battle at hand. The Bibles tells us that we do not fight against flesh and blood, but oh man, sometimes it’s so easy to do that in marriage.
Love & War draws the curtain on the enemy’s act without being spooky or hocus-pocusey. There is a real enemy. He does not want your marriage to be beautiful. But we don’t have to let him win. There are ways to fight.
3. Your marriage needs shared adventure.
I was recently reminded of this truth again because Rich and I just bought a second-hand canoe off of Craigslist. We had some birthday/anniversary money left, and I had been praying that we would find a kayak or something of the like. Well, we found a hefty, camoflauged canoe (the previous owner was a duck hunter!) and roped it to the top of our Jeep.
We took the kids out on it last week in a nearby lake. Despite the quarter of a mile that we had to carry this beast down to the shore, it was fun. It was an adventure.
Adventures in marriage awaken us from the sleep-inducing rhythms of daily life.
For just a moment, we are able to leave behind the to-do lists, the cleaning up, the bill-paying and set out with the sky as our limit (or maybe just the other side of the pond). Sharing adventures with our spouses is different than going out on dates (though those are awesome too!) Adventuring with our spouse creates a novel experience that we can remember for years.
And adventures don’t necessarily have to occur in nature. Different strokes for different folks. An adventure for you might simply be not planning out where you are going to eat on Friday night and journeying through the streets of your city until you stumble across a place that you both like.
If you’re interested in checking this book out, click on the image below. (*)
P.S. *We found that we were naturally recommending books for our readers from which we have personally benefitted, so we decided to become Amazon affiliates. This means that Amazon gives us 3% commission for each purchase through our website at no extra cost to the buyer.
